Civility: An Endangered Resource

—"Life is not so short but that there is always
time for courtesy." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

by Graceann Macleod 

The world is a busy place. It's difficult to navigate, especially lately. I realize that all of us have a great deal on our minds and numerous obligations to juggle. The disappointing trend I've encountered is that, in our rush to get to our next appointment or fulfill our most pressing responsibility, something crucial has been left by the wayside: common, basic courtesy.

I called an office this morning. The person who answered the phone couldn't even be bothered to say “Good Morning.” Fair enough – they had just opened and they were probably busy. I started to explain my problem, saying no more than five words before I was sharply interrupted with “do you want to see [certain professional]?” I was given an appointment with the professional required, and said “Thank you.” It was unheard because the person at the other end had already hung up. I have to ask, how much time would it have added to her busy morning to include a greeting and to end the call with something other than a click? I quote to you from this particular company's list of goals:

“We aim to treat you with friendliness and courtesy.”

To repeat an oft-heard phrase, “I don't think that means what you think that means.”

While this is the most recent example of rudeness I've encountered, it's certainly not isolated. I use public transport exclusively, and whenever bus or train doors open, I'm pushed and shoved as if we're all trying to get onto the last helicopter off of that roof in Saigon. It is a simple rule of travel etiquette that you wait for people to get off of a unit of transport before you get on, yet every time I disembark from a conveyance, I must navigate a horde of commuters shoving past me in the other direction. If I comment on it, I'm looked at as if I'm the one who needs lessons in deportment.

When did simple words/phrases such as “please,” “thank you,” “you're welcome” and “excuse me” become so scarce? From the moment I learned to speak, it was drilled into me that you never make a request without including the word “please,” and when that request is fulfilled, you express gratitude. Smiling was actively encouraged, and I've discovered in my daily life that it is even sometimes rewarded with a smile in return. Lately, though, when I smile at someone with whom I'm dealing, I'm looked at as if I'm trying to get away with something other than a pleasant interaction with another human being.

In a service context, I'd like to place this in very basic terms. Jobs are scarce. When you are rude to a customer, that customer remembers you, and not in a good way. If you make a habit of it, sooner or later it will catch up with you and you will find yourself feeling crabby for a very different reason. There are thousands of people who would love the opportunity to sit in the chair you now occupy and demonstrate for you how to behave in an appropriate manner, and be able to pay their bills in the process. I would love the opportunity to help those people replace you, if your job means so little to you that you can't be polite to me. It is of no cost to you, it is imperative in any industry that relies on customer goodwill (which is to say, ANY industry), and something that I require when dealing with you. I don't consider it too much to ask, and neither should you.